Fun With Comcast Customer Service
%^&$ing Comcast keeps billing me for equipment I returned months ago, so I decided to have a little fun with Albert with whom I chatted about the problem.
Here is the transcript:
Session connected!
Hello CLIFF_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Albert. Please give me one moment to review your information.
My pleasure to have you on this chat! I always remain committed and focused to provide you quality customer service at my fullest effort. Please allow me to assist you with your concern for today. I hope you are doing well today.
My Issue: You are billing me $9.95 for an additional outlet AGAIN. I do not have an additional cable box - I returned it to you months ago.
Hi, Cliff.
Hi
I understand you have questions about the equipment you returned and still getting billed for it, is that correct?
yes
Thank you for confirming, Cliff.
I am sorry this happened, Cliff.
I can assure you it was never our intention that you would have this problem.
I know its frustrating, I would feel the same way.
The billing for the equipment stopped, then started again. Then you stopped it and now it is starting again.
I know that its important to be billed only for the services that you are using.
I too do make sure that Im always on top of my bill, Cliff.
I do understand you on this.
Don't worry.
How about making stop? I do not need etic words, just stop the extra charges.
Let me make this up to you, Cliff.
I will completely remove this for you.
I'm here for whatever questions or concerns you have. I'll do everything I can to help you.
Cliff, please give me two minutes to pull up your account.
Would that be okay?
re.
sure
Thank you for your understanding, Cliff.
I appreciate it.
I'm glad to inform you that I successfully pulled up your account.
Thank you for patiently waiting.
I'm now reviewing your account information, Cliff.
May I ask the billing statement date in question, Cliff?
The current bill.
Thank you for that, Cliff.
Let me check on this.
I just paid it online, but I paid $162.78
this is boring
I am bored
this takes too long
what is the reason for the delay
hurry up
why does this take so long
make the billing chage
I'm now verifying this on the system, Cliff.
Don't worry.
do something
I will make sure this is completely deleted from your account.
This is to assure you that this will not happen again.
hurry albert - the world and I do not want to waste more time on this
Would you mind waiting for a couple of minutes while I research that for you?
why? what is there to research?
I understand your urgency on this, Cliff.
make the extra $9.95 STOP please
I'm now searching on the system the reason why this is showing again on your account.
Yes, I will do that, Cliff.
I cannot pay these extra fees.
I will not pay these extra fees.
I understand you on this, Cliff.
I'm with you on this.
why do you keep billing me for something I do not have?
Cliff, the system keeps on prompting me that you don't have any email address associated on your account.
Can you please provide me with one?
how does the system send me my bill Albert?
If the system has no email address, how does it send me a bill?
you are wasting my time.
This is because you are on Ecobill, Cliff.
cut the crap and stop the extra
Right, and how do you send an ecobill Albert?
Cliff, let me explain this to you.
I would need a username as the system asks for it.
This is separate from your Ecobill.
Don't worry.
I'm now processing the removal of your charge, Cliff.
I do apologize for the inconvenience.
Pleas give me a minute on this one.
look on my ecobill for my user name.
Thank you.
this is a waste of my time - can I speak with your supervisor?
Cliff, this Ecobill information is not accessible on our end.
Cliff, I have great news for you!
I have successfully removed the charge on your account.
I won the lottery? Free HBO for life?
you call that great news?
The resolved reference number is 53749528.
Thank you and may the wind be always at your back.
I am so proud of you Albert. Terrific job.
I understand you on this, Cliff.
Don't worry.
I'm now processing a special request on this matter so that I can make sure this will not happen again.
If the extra charges show up again, I will be calling my lawyer
I'm now also reviewing the notes on your account concerning this matter, Cliff.
I understand, Cliff.
I will make sure of that.
I'm now processing this for you.
Are we done yet?
I have to pee.
I understand, Cliff.
Real bad.
Don't worry.
I will stay on your account.
We are now set on this credit, Cliff.
Oh NO! I just peed my pants waiting for you to hurry up
Are we done? Can I go now and clean up?
Yes, Cliff.
We are now set on this.
Thank you very much Albert.
Here is a wonderful recording of more Comcast Comcrap:
SPECIAL SURPRISE UPDATE: I received my latest bill, just a couple weeks after Albert assured me the extra charges were a thing of the past. Wanna guess? Yup, the $9.95 charge for the second cable box that I returned months ago is once again on the bill. #Comcastsucks #xfinitysucks
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You're very welcome, Cliff
Here is the transcript:
Session connected!
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Transcript
Sound
user CLIFF has entered room
analyst Albert has entered room
Here is a wonderful recording of more Comcast Comcrap:
SPECIAL SURPRISE UPDATE: I received my latest bill, just a couple weeks after Albert assured me the extra charges were a thing of the past. Wanna guess? Yup, the $9.95 charge for the second cable box that I returned months ago is once again on the bill. #Comcastsucks #xfinitysucks
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