Showing posts from January, 2016

Things I Learned Thanks To My Thumbs

Opposable thumbs rock! They allow us to pick up things other animals cannot - including rides in other people's vehicles and knowledge. I am certainly not a farrier, but I would wager my grasp of the art of shoeing horses far exceeds that of the average person. I owe that knowledge to my thumb. My thumb brought me insight into the workings of a cult.  My thumb introduced me to lots of very interesting humans - and a couple of scary ones.

When my parents split up my mom re-located the two of us a couple thousand miles from our extended family. We went from Grand Rapids, MI to live in Tucson, AZ. For better or worse, as a latch key child of a working mom, I learned how to amuse myself. In hippy-drenched 70‘s era Tucson a young man with an opposible thumb could make his way around simply by sticking out said thumb and relying on the kindness of strangers.

I cannot recall the first time I put my thumb to work in such a manner, but I do remember that I got pretty good at hitching a rid…

My Brush With Fundamentalism - The American Kind

Can you imagine a man of god holding a 14 year old version of me so my mother could whack me with a belt? Can you imagine the same man of god throwing a left/right combination punch at me simply because I yelled something the man considered sacrilegious? This man of god was not the kind who took inspiration from the Quran, his book of choice was the Bible.

Fundamentalism scares the hell out of me. Any kind of fundamentalism. Not just the Us Against The World come-to-the-desert-and-join-the-Jihad permutation. I am equally scared of Jewish fundamentalists and Christian ones, too. If I ever learn of Buddhist fundamentalists who subjugate their women, put all kinds of restrictions on matters pertaining to dress, diet, and deeds, then I will be scared of them as well.

Good punches need to be properly set up. Before we get to the Main Event, let me give you some background. Perceptive readers will have deduced that I am no longer 14. Why have I waited until now to tell the tale of what happ…

Take A Car And Call Me In The Morning

It seemed like my shenanigans were catching up to me. My number was up and the piper was looking for a paycheck. I needed an escape plan. I had to do some kind of end run around the massive opposition gearing up to stop my fun. Said opposition even included plans of incarceration. Juvenile detention? Not me - I was gonna hatch an escape.

Stanley and I had been getting pretty stoned on the way to school in the morning. Darn near every morning. Walking a mile and half provided lots of time to smoke and/or gulp down the stuff we were using to make 9th grade more exciting. School was pretty okay when we smoked a joint or two of the ditch weed you could cop on the streets of 1972 era Tucson. Education got flat out weird when we substituted some of the other recreational drugs we were discovering.

Imagine my alarm when the equations the algebra teacher was putting up on the black board began to melt - the white chalk letters, symbols, and numbers dripped down the board toward the eraser tr…

Why Sia Will Never Sell Much Music in The US

Poor, poor Sia. She has been given a wonderful voice, but she will never succeed in America.
For me, there exists a parallel between Sia compared to Miley Cyrus and the Muslim faith compared to American Christianity.
Our fearless leaders and wanna-be leaders tell us daily that we have got  to stop letting followers of Islam pass our borders. Our biggest collective fear boils down to the fact that they are NOT like us.
If you have ever listened to Sia, then you know she has  a wonderful instrument in her voice. But she will never sell herself and her music big time in the US of A because she dresses like a Muslim woman.
Here is a picture of her recent appearance on Saturday Night Live - a most excellent opportunity to reach real Americans with her music.
Look how she dressed?  Say what?  
Sia, honey darling, that is NOT the way to reach America. You wanna hide your face and your body? Get yourself booked on Syria Night Live, okay?

Now, consider Miley Cyrus. A child of Disney. A good g…