Throat Cancer Week One: More Bug Than Windshield

"Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug,
Sometimes you're the Louisville slugger baby, sometimes you're the ball."
                                                                  Mark Knoppfler

I was mostly the bug n the ball.

WHEW - So we started Chemo n Radiation this week.
Monday - Chemo - didn't seem so bad. I was there for about 5-6 hours. They put saline in, then some other stuff, then the BAJ (Bad Ass Juice). Felt fine when I left.
Hmmmm - that night I gave back a lot of what I had eaten, but still went to work on Tuesday.
By midafternoon I had Chemo hiccups and some nausea. (Did I take my meds? Nah - not me. I don't need no stinkin' meds...)
That night the world started spinnin' - but I was NOT in love. Up every couple hours with hiccups - ever try to sleep with hiccups?
Oh, did I take my meds THEN? NAH - it tasted bad and I did not want to put ANYTHING in my yapper. New spelling of "dumb" is C-l-i-f-f. FWIW - I finally did start taking my anti nausea meds and continue to do so on a regular basis sohelpmegod.
Made it through radiation Mon-Wed okay, but was feeling pretty punk so I asked a family friend, Ron, to drive me to my appointment Thursday. Told him it would be 45-mins to an hour.
Ooops.
                                                       Return of A Nemesis
I was feeling really woozy when I got on the table for The Mask. By the time it was over I was drenched in sweat and when I tried to get up I found myself in the arms of the rad techs and being put in a wheelchair surrounded by several nurses and doctors. The phalanx (never thought I would have occasion to use that word!) of med folk wheeled me by the waiting room. Uh, Ron - it might be a little longer than I thought.
Want odd? Listen to a doctor call 911!!
My BP was low and my pulse, which runs low anyway, was 40 or something. Dr. Bott was very concerned (Bless her heart). Me? I was embarrassed to be causing the fuss.
These guys showed up and drove me the 1/4 mile to the ER.
Turns out the guys knew our son James (he is an AMR Paramedic) and had nice things to say about him.
Spent time in the ER - IV fluids - monitors - all that jazz.
The best they could come up with was Vasovagal Response . Well, I was kind of familiar with that - one time James brought his kit to the store to take an infected sliver out of one of my fingers. When he was done, I was a bit sweaty and headed for the bathroom - woke up crumbled on the floor between the wall n the john. "Hey Buddy", says James. "You better sit down for a while over here."
He put a cold compress on my noggin and 'splained Vasovagal to me. Curses! Foiled again.
Finally made it home (thanks Ron - 1 hour turned into about 6!)
Okay - this whole thing scared the beejabbers out of me. If I am going to fall over on Courtney every time they try to treat me, then whaaaaaaa?

So I plunged down into this mental hole that was terrible, terrible bad. If the treatment is going to take me out, then why bother with the treatment? Julie was less than pleased when I expressed this to her when she got home from the store. (Why she hasn't shot me yet is anyone's guess.)

Then reason, accompanied by threats from daughter in law Jess (an ER nurse) and a well put presentation by Julie helped me to turn the corner. (She is such a lovely, polite young woman - but this boy knows NOT to cross her!) Yup - Chemo will rip you up and radiation ain't no picnic, but it is the BEST method we have now to kick the shit out of throat cancer.

Found some helpful suggestions online from other folks in my boat. Took a Xanax before my radiation Friday. I also sprayed a plentitude of Ocean salt water up me nose holes in order to breathe a little easier. Once there, I asked them to cut open the eyes on The Mask and also if they could make the mouth opening a little bigger. I asked to have the nose cut off, but was told that might ruin the integrity of The Mask. All that worked together and I made it with no Falling Out Boy episode.

Okay folks - if YOU want to make some $$$ from my troubles, get you some stock in the companies that make these items (cuz I am using them in a big way):



 
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