Stuff I Thought Was Funny At The Time Vol. 1

I think its really really neato that you took your Iphone to the concert. Wow the footage is superb (not) and the audio is shit. Whatsamattatu? Got no erase button? Y O Y is YouTube crammed with concert footage that looks and sounds like diaper rash. Put your phone down and enjoy the show - we will believe you went there, you don't hasta prove it.

I wonder why sleeping dogs just can't come clean? Who decided it was best to let them continue to lie? I, for one, am sick and tired of their ways and will not stand for it anymore. Won't you join me? Make Sleeping Dogs Tell The Truth - NOW!
I could not figure out what that NOIZE was, then I realized it is the volume from my hair! That new volumizer is the shizzle.
I refuse to acknowledge "Leap Day" a ficticious day not found in the Constitution. Our wise founders seemed to get by on 28 days in February and that is enough for me. Happy March 1st. (this may get tricky on other holidays, but I will drive off those bridges when I get to them.)

I am giving up my constant quest for a true heroin chic razor thin body for Lent.

I am sick and tired of all the freeloaders looking for Gluten FREE. I had to pay for my gluten and my daddy had to pay for his gluten. This country was built by people who paid for their gluten. Gluten for free is a Chi-knees plot to destroy the 'Merican two bedroom SUV with socialism.

Happy Furniture and Department Store Sale Day Everyone. If you or anyone you know or want to know has ever had a wonderful, life-changing experience on Furniture and Department Store Sale Day, then repost this so your friends can truly understand the core values behind Furniture and Department Store Sale Day.

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