DSW - Enough With The Questions Already.
DSW: Have you shopped here before?
DSW: Last name?
DSW: First name?
Me: Cliff. KUH-Liff. Cliff - like you might fall off of a cliff. C-L-I-F-F.
DSW: Zip Code?
(At this point I noticed she had typed in "Wankovic" which was why I was not coming up on the screen, so I corrected her and we got that straightened out.)
DSW: Does your wife shop here?
DSW: Your wife, does she shop here?
Me: Yeah. In fact she will be buying something here in a minute.
DSW: Does she get our coupons in the mail?
Me: What? What does this have to do with anything?
DSW: What is her first name or initial?
(I had been transitioning from a nice, helpful customer to confused to irritated - I just want to make my purchase, not apply for a loan.)
Me: J....er Julie - wait a minute, she has a different last name than I do.
DSW: What is that?
Me: What does this have to do with me? I just want to buy these shoes. Can I just buy my shoes, please? Don't ask me anymore questions.
Thank goodness, she finally just rang up my purchase and I got out of there.
Next time I buy some shoes, I am going by the name of Jim Jones, zip code 49546, unmarried.