We cannot allow anyone to teach our children.

There is a lot of fear out there in 'Merica about letting gay people have positions of authority with our children. Apparently the big fear is that all gay people MUST be pedofiles  This is presumably based on some incidents which PROVE that all gay people (and especially gay males) are pedophiles.
So I put the tapes of my life on rewind - trying to recall if any of the guys who were teachers or leaders/teachers/mentors in my schools or other areas of my life as a kid ever tried to mess with me in a sexual way. Couple things came to mind.
First, the only male who ever did anything that I considered inappropriate was a guy named Eric who was my Big Brother briefly when I was in the 4th or 5th grade. Eric was all macho for sure - he was a star athlete at his high school and drove a cool hot rod old Ford (I think). Eric never put his hands in my pants or exposed himself, but he did like to wrestle with me ..... a lot. And I can remember one incident when he stayed on top of me for a long time and I became so upset that I ended up throwing a rock at him through a window in our house. When I told my mom WHY I threw the rock, I never saw Eric again.
Secondly, there was one summer that I was involved in the Hope College Summer Repitory Theatre. I was a 16 year old high school junior and a friend of our family pulled some strings so that I was one of 16 or 20 high school kids who were "apprentices" in this first rate summer theatre program that had many paid professionals from all over the country. It was a great learning experience - I had a freaking blast.
First, there were several gay men of various ages - from my own age group up to one guy who was probably in his late 40's or early 50's. We worked pretty much around the clock for weeks on end as we rehearsed and performed (yes, I had a couple bit parts - chorus in Oklahoma and a silent walk-on in Moliere's The Miser) several shows over the course of the summer. We had most Sundays off, but other than that there were lots of 10-14 hour days. We changed backstage and lived/worked in very close quarters. Nothing inappropriate ever transpired between myself and any of the gay males. One bit of irony is that the summer theatre took place at what used to be a very conservative, Christian college in Holland, Michigan.
While reviewing my life I did recall two incidents of teachers being caught with minor students. One occured in Tucson when a coach was caught in a van with an eighth grader. They were NOT reviewing team strategy or studying for mid-terms. Uhm, coach was a dude and the student was a girl.
The other came as no surprise to me. One of the male teachers at another high school I attended was busted for having some stuff going on with one of his students. Male teacher with female student. Again. I was hardly shocked because I recalled this guy being more of a letch than any of his teenage male students. You could see this guy ogling the girls as he taught us. I would watch him staring at the girls - trying to look up their skirts and/or down their shirts.
Using the mathematical formulation that applies to gay teachers it follows then sexual misconduct by male teachers toward female students must mean that we ought not let heterosexual men teach female students. If all gay male teachers are on the prowl for boys then all male heterosexual teachers must be on the prowl for the girls. Shoot, I have just given you two examples from my life.
Then I thought about several incidents lately of FEMALE teachers seducing their students that have popped up in the media. When we plug those incidents into the formula.... yup, you guessed it - oh crap - female heterosexual teachers must be on the prowl for their male students because these incidents clearly prove they are on the make.
Therefore, we can't have men or women who have any kind of sex coming into contact with the children in school.
Home schooling seems to be the only viable answer.
Or maybe we should just hire eunuchs and their female equivalents.

DISCLAIMER: Obviously I am trying to make a point about generalization.
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