Cliffs Riffs - Stuph n Nonsense

  Here is a pic of my Zero getting a free serving of Go Juice at one of two ChargePoint stations in Lowell, MI. People ask about the price of electric motorcycles all the time. At first, the price can seem a bit high. I just turned over 9,700 miles on my 2017 Zero DSR.  I bought it with 1,400 "demo" miles on it from Boondox Motor Sports in Caledonia in 2018. It was about $13,000 with the added cost of luggage and the windshield.  I paid a similar price for this BMW Rockster a few years that I enjoyed for several years. I like to tell people that the only motorcycle that makes less noise than a Beemer is my Zero. Now comes the fun part. According to my Zero App - the cost to fuel my DSR is about .01 per mile. The app lets you plug in your cost of electricity in order to figure such things. So, according to the App, my expense to travel 9,700 miles has been $97.00. My Rockster averaged 38 mpg, which works out to 255.26 gallons to cover the same miles. It burned premium fuel...

As you may have noticed, the back side of the book "Otter Was a Beagle-ish Dog" has some pre-publication reviews that are the product of my imagination. (Yes, Joyce, I know the back cover also has the typo "1980's" which should read 1980s.) Anyway - folks have been buying and apparently actually READING the book with the end result of some reviews, comments, and practical tips from Actual Readers.  I am happy to share some of them with you.  The first is a copy of a 100 word review by Ruth that was submitted to Schuler Books, publishers of the book, the rest of them are quoted from my Facebook page, text messages, or spoken communication: "Otter Was a Beagle-ish Dog is an entertaining collection of musings, from the author's younger days hitchhiking the deserts of Arizona, to an intimate and moving chronicle of the ordeal he underwent fighting throat cancer. Throughout the pages, Cliff's reminiscences of the abiding pr...

Most people would be deeply offended if you asked them if they had ever spent the night in a public bathroom. Yours truly has slept in a men’s room on more than one occasion. Twice, to be exact. And I have never been elected to public office. Yet. My purpose today is to offer up not one, but two completely plausible explanations for my bathroom lodging. I assure you this is being done without the aid of a handler or PR firm. The fact of the matter is that both instances of my having to seek shelter amidst toilets, urinals, and sinks came on successive days. It is only now, after decades of time and hours of therapy, that I can discuss these nights without breaking down (or cracking up?). Two completely different bathrooms for two similar, but different, reasons. As you may have read elsewhere, I decided to cross the country at 19 on a Honda 750 motorcycle. My plan was to stay at KOA Campgrounds, so I could enjoy sleeping the outdoors and still have access to a bathroom with a showe...

“Get a Honda - they are bulletproof,” was pretty much the response from anyone I talked to about my desire to cross the country on a motorcycle. The words “low maintenance" also came up a few times. Music to my ears. Please join me in flashing back to a time, 1977, when people had to actually speak to one another about such things. There were no chat rooms, forums, or online communities in which to consult the entire cyber world about a motorcycle purchase. As a soon-to-be 19 year old with a hankering to see the USA from the vantage point of a two wheeled motorized contraption, I was serious in my research. The main motivation for said inquiries centered around the fact that I was, and remain, pretty much mechanically inept. I spoke to people who sold and rode motorcycles at every opportunity - either in person or on a telephone. [tele-phone: noun, ancient device using a system of wires which connected homes and businesses all over the world. Were used to for the sole purpo...

Five Angels In The Panhandle The tale of some very nice folks in Texas coming to my aid begs for inclusion in my treatise of hitchhiking. This adventure falls under the sub-heading: Forced Hitching as opposed to the tales classified under Voluntary Hitching or Hitchhiking; Picking Up Others. Like many others of my vintage, the lure of motorcycles was aided and abetted by the movie Easy Rider. I know for certain I did not see it when it came out in 1969. As an 11 year old who lived with his born again Christian mom, attending an R rated movie about selling drugs, tripping on drugs, and crossing the country on two wheels was not even a remote possibility. However, once I did see it after having circled the sun a few more times, my cycle lust went up a couple notches. The longing for two wheeled travel was initiated by my older brother Les. He had a bitchin’ Kawasaki Big Horn 350 Enduro and he would take me for trail rides. It is worth mentioning that said bike had no rear pegs for ...

I have been riding motorcycles on and off for 37 year and have never joined the AMA. At this point I have no plans to ever join the AMA. Why would I want to join an organization that spends a good deal of its time and resources in making the practice of riding a motorcycle more dangerous? Why would I support a group that considers it a job well done when the aftermath of one of their major concerns results in the death of more motorcycle riders? Spend some time on the AMA site and their rhetoric regarding helmets will remind you of your favorite, or least favorite, politician. They are masters of the double message: "The AMA believes riders should wear all the safety gear all the time" sounds like a pretty strong endorsement for helmet use, doesn't it? Especially when you consider the results of pretty much any study of helmet use demonstrates that they reduce death rates, reduce serious injury rates and thereby reduce the costs associated with motorcycl...

  I know the folks at Icon are not really after those of us old enough to know the lyric: "These boots are made for walkin'", but that was the first thing that came in my head when I sat down to right this. I don't always want to wear my Combat Lites from Aerostich.   Okay - Icon does not market the Super Duty 4 as a hiking boot, but they almost could. I needed some boots to commute to work in. While I appreciate the extra protection my big boots, Combat Lites from Aerostich , provide - I do not always want to wear those big beauties on my 12 mile ride to work.   FYI- I paid full price for these boots at a local dealership (see bottom).   Anyway - I LOVE these boots. The fit is great and I feel they offer a good deal of protection to my feet with the steel shank, built in ankle protection, and the stabilizer strap. Said strap reminds me of downhill ski boots (my Combat Lites have them as well) and they really make your feet feel buckl...

Knobbies make me Knervous. Bought a new to me 2007 KLR 650 a couple thousand miles ago and it had some knobbie tires on it. As someone with a non-dirt riding background, knobbies on pavement have always made me a tad nervous. While I am no knee draggin' stunt boy, I do enjoy leaning into corners and doing so with knobbies has always made me THINK about my tires - something I do not want to do whilst enjoying my lean. Thankfully the knobbies on the KLR were near the end of their lives after riding on them for a couple of months. (If they were original tires, then they have 10k on them.) When I told him that I was riding mainly on pavement with some dirt/gravel roads thrown in once in a while, the service guy Luke at Treds n Sleds  on 29th Street in Kentwood, recommended the Avon Gripsters. I went online for reviews and people seemed very happy with them, so we set a time for them to be installed. Avon Gripster on the rear of my KLR 650. I love thes...

My first Beemer pictured in 2002 I have been mulling this over in my head for months and I have finally boiled it down to the essence: BMW Motorcycles has really let me down. By "BMW Motorcycles" I mean BMW of North America and the local dealership in Grand Rapids. BMW #2 at a track day at Grattan Raceway. First let me tell you that I have purchased and ridden the heck out of 3 BMWs over the last 10 years. All of them were purchased at the dealership and financed through BMW. In addition to the 3 bikes, I have spent hundreds (thousands) of dollars in the service department, bought numerous pieces of riding gear (jackets, rain suit, pants, boots, several pair of gloves, helmets, etc. etc.) over the years. I should also mention that I wrote 7 articles for publication in the BMW MOA monthly magazine over the years and also promoted the brand in a couple of articles I wrote for RIDER magazine. I just sold the last one - a 2004 R1150R Edition 80 (one of only 200 shippe...

I had never spent much over $40 for a pair of motorcycle gloves, but a couple of years ago Andy from Grand Rapids BMW talked to me about the Navigators from Firstgear. (I think they were $89.00 - they are now $99.00.) I live in Michigan and try to ride pretty much all year around - I like to get out during the snowy season for a variety of reasons - but I certainly ride in a) rain and b) temps below 40 and sometimes 30 degrees and c) sometime both conditions at the same time. Andy was aware of this and recommended the Navigators as a great glove to use a lot of the time. As you can see they have a nice tall gauntlet, so they go up over the sleeve of my jacket or riding suit. They have a drawstring to close the end and a hook and loop (aka Velcro) strap just past the wrist so you can adjust them to be as snug as you like. I have big hands and went with XXL. They were a little snug off the rack, but have since stretched out a little for a very comfortable fit. Boy am I glad I l...

This story starts with a sad part - someone vandalized my motorcycle in early June. I noticed a "crinkle" in my gas tank one day and upon further investigation found that not only had the tank ben dented or bent, but the clowns also did some damage to my frame where the tank attaches. Yadda yadda yadda - call my insurance company and they work a deal with the Beemer dealer in Grand Rapids for a new tank. Life is good - well, except for the fact that BMW takes MONTHS to get a gas tank painted on over to the US of A. (It has been on order since the middle of June.) No mind you, my bike is not an antigue - it is a 2004! They produced the Rocksters for several years, but only in 3 colors: green, copper, and white. So hows come BMW can't just have a tank or two primed and ready to paint one of three colors? Where is the highly touted German engineering brilliance? Anyhow, in the ensuing weeks, the worst part of the bend starts to leak gas - let me tell you having ga...